Things don't always go the way you plan. There are a lot of twists and turns in life and sometimes life just takes you on a different course. It's not suppose to be this way. I thought to myself on way too many occasion. Setbacks happen. Over time, I got used to the fact that you don't always get what you want. Because that's just the way life is. I always thought it was unfair because everything bad seem to always happen to me. I just cannot get a break. Life seems to throw many curve-balls at me, and all those balls are rocks. I just can't get anything right. I got over it.

Throughout the years, I learned to accept what life threw at me. I have gained a more optimistic view. I had a more positive outlook. Of course the positivity and optimism did not come naturally to me. Putting on a positive stance needed a giant push. With his help, I got the push I needed every time. With that, I have a clear view of what's ahead of me.  I still need that push every now and then. Even with knowing that nothing good comes from being a negative nancy, I still manage to stoop low and keep making the same mistakes. Keeping my head high had proved to require much strength. With all that has happened to me, I pull through and get the strength I need.

I know that I'm still going to fall down countless times over and over again. There's just no stopping it. Whenever I do, he's always gonna be there, holding up his hand and I'll get up each and every time. I made a promise to myself (and him) that I will keep going. It does not matter how I get there. In the end, I'll get to where ever I'm suppose to be.

"Don't look back. You're not going that way." - Things we forget

you sure know how to make a girl feel special

For so long I've been dreaming on finding that special someone. That special someone who will be there for you no matter what; that special someone who will always be by your side through good times and the bad. For so long I thought to myself, when am I ever going to find this special someone. This special someone who truly cares for you and will do anything he can to keep you safe. This special someone who will never ever hurt you in any way. Does this person exist? Are they only images portrayed in stories and movies. I convinced myself that there is no one like that for me. Boys are all the same. They will hurt you, play with your heart. They will deceive you, and tell you things you want to hear. There is no such thing as a nice guy!

That's what I thought.

My thoughts about that changed when I met him. I have never in my life felt like this before about anyone else. The way he makes me feel is like a bird who's flying for the first time. I can't stop thinking about him. Every day and every night, my mind is completely flooded with thoughts of him. 'what is he doing?' 'does he think of me as much as i think of him?' I can't be the only one who feels what I feel. But this feeling, it fills me up with happiness. I'm SO happy. The kind of happiness I never felt before. A different kind of feeling that makes me feel like I'm living in a dream. A dream come true, like the ones that only existed in fairytales. He envelops me with joy and I don't think I could live without him. He is an important person to me. I can't even imagine losing someone like him. I don't know what I'd do if I did.

My heart flutters and my stomach has butterflies whenever I'm around him. I get the warmest feeling when I'm with him. I love being in his arms, so close to my heart. My heart feels so alive. I like him so much, it's inevitable. He's my best friend!

I feel like I can tell him anything. I trust him with everything and I know know that he would never betray me. As silly as this may sound, almost like a little girl's fantasies, he means the world to me. He's everything I could ever dream of! I wouldn't ask for anything more. He's perfect just the way he is.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world because I know that now, I've found my someone special.

"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you," - Peeta Mellark, Catching Fire

There are some things in life that cannot be explained. No matter how many times you ask why? or how? The answer is still undefined. I needed strength; I still need it. In times of hardships and whatnot, somehow, somewhere, you are given just a little bit of it. Just enough to build up your courage. Just enough to make matters straight. It still a wonder to me, how in times of need, I manage to gather all this strength and courage to stand up. And no matter how many times I've been pushed down, I still manage to get back up. Still strong. My pounding heart could feel it. All this energy. Giving up is not an option.

and one day, everything will be okay

you sparkle, you really do

You. I'm so glad I have you as a friend. You make everything ok again. You really do make me smile. I don't know what I'd do without you. I mean, you're always there when I need you the most. It's not easy talking about some of the things I'm dealing with, but I truly appreciate when you're there to listen. I feel like I can tell you anything. It's almost like you understand everything that's going on around me. My apologizes for being so weak and always breaking down. It cannot be helped sometimes, I'm just delighted to have a friend like you. I hope you know that whenever you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you as well, always. You're amazing, you know that? And I'm not saying this to be nice, I'm saying this sincerely from the bottom of my heart. Seriously, i love you!

thanks for everything

It really puts life into perspective when you have a near-death experience. It gives you a sense of feeling that you're in a bad dream and that you just want to wake up. Heart beating rapidly. Fingers numb from the cold. You just want it to stop, but it won't. It already happened. There's a thin strand between life and death. It terrifies me to think that life could have ended in an instant. Thankfully, it wasn't the time yet. But what if it was? It makes me wonder...are there things left unsaid? Who would even care? Would it really matter if I no longer existed?

It could have been more fatal. But why is the world I know twisting and turning one after the other? Too many unfortunate events happening all at once. What am I suppose to do?

It's funny how you think you know someone, when really, they are completely different than what you expect. After all this time, I just assume people would be totally honest with me. That doesn't seem to be the case. It crushed me to pieces when I found about you. It broke my heart, not gonna lie. Like shattered glass. That's what I feel like. It makes me wonder, that if you, the one that I have become close with, the one who makes me comfortable, the one who I thought would never deceive me, the one who I have fallen hard for..would keep this from me, then what about the other people? The ones who I decide to let in and trust. That's the thing about me, I let people in too fast. I trust people too easily. That's how it leads to me always getting hurt in the end.

my heart melts when i`m around you. Seriously, I don't even know what to do. I'm constantly thinking of you. No matter what i do, you seem to invade my mind. I wish I could tell you how I feel. It's just that, I can't imagine my life without you. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we drift apart. It would surely bring the world i know upside down. I don't think I'd be able to bear you not being in my life. It would crush me to pieces. But right now I'm just living in the moment, and that's enough.